Challenges? Money. Money. Money. Money.

Laziness. My own inherit slothiness.

What will I do?

Nothing. Or, maybe something. Maybe I'll figure out what the hell I'm doing and be less of an idiot in the future. That's a distinct possibility.

I have a lot of thoughts floatinng around in my head. The thoughts are great, creative, funny, spontaneous. Cohesive. I have these thoughts so much that i forget to commit them to  paper -- so in my mind it feels fresh, as if I've done something, but in reality I've done nothing. It exists only in my head, like one key to a safe of precious jewels that could be lost with just one slight bump.

Giant scorpions.

Me and Billy the Tree-Eating Scorpion would tear it up.

I started writing again.
I'm aiming a bit smaller as a warm-up this time, a 30pagish short story that I'm going to publish on Amazon's Kindle or on-demand book publishing thing.
I've been trying to pull myself out of this apathetic state that hang over me. Hopefully I'll there soon.

Another killer headache again.

Hope it's not a brain tumor.

Optimism, right?

People I've "met" via CraigsList:

* A Carnie / Sub pretending to be a Dominatrix
* A handful of bored wives looking for excitement.
* Two psych majors who think I'm batshit crazy.

Guess that makes me a crazy magnet. :)

Throbbing headache right now. I want to get back to writing, but if I can't even keep this blog up to date, how am I supposed to do that?

I'm going to write some tonight, hopefully 8 or 9 pages...

Have you ever wanted to be a kung-fu legend? Wanted to feel what it was like to destroy legions of foes with well-placed strikes that took you years to hone somewhere deep in Tibet.

I've always wanted to be extraordinarily adept at annihilating people with a rogue touch, but that would mean I'd be a different person than I am now.

But it would be cool if I knew how to do it. I could be all, "Flying lotus blossom! Angry turtle spits sunflower seeds!"

I, uh, yeah, that's it.

Infarto ('heart-attack' in Spanish?) is an awful fake reality TV show. That's not interesting.

What is interesting, however, is that some people state-side think it's real.

Hello? Have you motherfuckers seen that show? What planet are you on? Even if it WERE real, there'd have been a lawsuit or a murder by now -- and trust me, some of those situations are the kind where you could kill everyone involved in production and get away with it, or at least get off with an extremely light sentence.

It is, however, watchable if only for it's awful acting. Yes, stare at the camera while pretending to be on a reality TV show. Also, when faced with imminent death, don't beg for your life! Instead, say some completely random sentence that you heard once from an American movie.

I wonder if exporting good actors to Mexico would be a profitable business venture?

Watch it.

1999, and a little corny, but still, good stuff.

The Legend of Black Heaven... hard rock saves the space!

Man, fuck. Everyone on my Friends list was playing this game, but I had played the multiplayer beta and was like, "Well, I've already got one generic First Person Shooter, why another?"

Eventually I relented, got it two days ago, and finished the single-player today. Would not recommend it -- the singleplayer, I mean. Easily the most awful generic game I've ever played. I played Call of Duty 2 once, a long time ago, and I remember it was so fucking cinematic and epic (I only stopped playing it because of 'cheating AI').

Where was I? Oh, CoD4 single-player is bullshit in a can labeled 'Delicious Tomato Soup.' It is, literally, "Generic Military Shooter."

Multi-player is another matter. Sometimes it's golden, sometimes it's "why the fuck am I playing this?"

Game needs more polish. You ever play a game of capture the flag in any game where the enemy spawned right next to the flag? Welcome to CoD4's Headquarters and Domination mode.

Here's another bundle of fun: roaming spawns. Nothing will ruin a sniper's day more than an ally appearing RIGHT NEXT him while the sniper is trying to sneak up on opposing forces. Roaming spawns also render C4 virtually obsolete, since there's no "strategic" way to use them. The only games I've found them effective in is Search and Destroy -- no respawns, so there's none of this assorted bullshit occuring:

* Your team steps into a woodland area, securing the choke-points.
* You setup a block of C4.
* You setup a block of C4.
* You're killed because an enemy spawned behind you, BEHIND YOUR DEFENSIVE PERIMETER.

Yeah. That's super-fun-tactical. I once just lobbed some C4 over a wall and detonated it right after, killing a few guys. So far that seems to be the best way to use it -- as "close range" grenades.

I was really hoping for a more tactical game like Rainbow Six.  You know, holding down key choke-points on a map, flanking an enemy that's breached the defensive line. The firefights at a RSV choke-point can be fucking cinematic.

CoD4 has its own style of tactical fighting, but it's mostly about your team moving around in large "blobs" rather than, say, attacking the enemy's forward position while flanking, because, rest assured, motherfuckers on your own team will start spawning next to the flanker, thus destroying your own front-line. I learned that really, really quick.

"Organized" team work is relatively absent, since it's not really required for one team to put up a pretty decent fight. IE, no choke-points to hold since the front-line always changes with every enemy (or ally) death, etc, etc, etc. The most I've seen in the game is when playing Search and Destroy allies will call out the position of the bomb carrier. Play some Domination and sometimes you'll get sporadic teamwork ("let's go for objective C!") but nothing that really gets you going like in Rainbow Six Vegas.

Smaller games (3v3 or 4v4) work out a little better, since everyone seems to live a little longer, but it's not really that much of a difference.

It is a good deathmatch / team deathmatch game, but since I don't have a particular fetish for military-themed shooters over sci-fi themed shooters, it definitely wasn't worth the $60 for me.

I give it a 6/10. Single-player is a big bucket of fail, so all 6 points go straight for the jugular. Uh, jugular? Multi-player.

I am a loser.

In an attempt to counter-balance that, I'll be uploading 2 chapters of SoS to the usual place later tonight. They're only about 6, 7 pages total, but since I've been a slouch and neglected the whole goddamn site for almost a year, it's the least I can do.

I used to think, "work sucks the creativity out of me."

Untrue!

I'm just lazy. I've had it in me all this time, but I've been too damn lazy to unleash it... like warming up a generator, takes too long and I get bored and distracted too easily.

I need a muse. Or a crazy BDSM mistress who keeps me going. Or a muse that is a crazy BDSM mistress.